Monday, December 12, 2005
It has been some time since I last made an entry. Well there isnt anything I wannna say or talk about.If life is about choices , what choices would I have? It took me so long to get this far and now I am about to lose faith and revert back to the start.Faith. What kind of faith can I have at this point?It just feels as if I am waiting for something to happen. Thats right. All through my life I am always waiting for something ,but whether I get to wait for that , is a different matter altogether.I found a rather interesting way to stop being depressed, that is to make ur body pump alot of adrealine into ur bloodstream. It all needs one thing. A penknife.The after effect is totally awesome.You will just feel damn good for at least 2 days after that you will get ur nightmares.Self inflicted pain always end wif nightmares.Nightmares can be cure by alcohol, but alcohol will increase ur pain when u r well awake.
I like pain. I like suffering, without them I wont have the courage to die.I am not afraid of dying but I am afraid of hurting others.I am just some shameless scumbag through and through, so I shouldnt waste the precious oxygen in the atmosphere right? I dont get it why people make a big fuss over death. I f u have been thru enought , u will learn the joy of dying. When u die, everything will end. U cant see people being hurt by u and u cant hurt them anymore.What if everything started off differently, having a friend whom I can trust thru this nightmare and having a family that I wont feel gulity when I am with them, will things be better? Would I feel this kind of despair?If there was someone here now.
I like pain. I like suffering, without them I wont have the courage to die.I am not afraid of dying but I am afraid of hurting others.I am just some shameless scumbag through and through, so I shouldnt waste the precious oxygen in the atmosphere right? I dont get it why people make a big fuss over death. I f u have been thru enought , u will learn the joy of dying. When u die, everything will end. U cant see people being hurt by u and u cant hurt them anymore.What if everything started off differently, having a friend whom I can trust thru this nightmare and having a family that I wont feel gulity when I am with them, will things be better? Would I feel this kind of despair?If there was someone here now.
i know that i have loved you ... at 12/12/2005 05:49:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities