Friday, February 24, 2006
I ' ve got a feeling that she was talking about me.
Suddenly,
I feel that everyone is ignoring me.
I know it is very tiring to have someone like me as a friend.
Someone who was onced raped dont make good friends because they have too much wounds to recover from.
Besides that, they are temperatate and they are no longer who you know.
They have such low self esteem till they can make people around them either sick with frustrations or worries.
Because they are suicidal.
I am not trying to say how pityful I am and it is not lame.
To me it isnt lame.
It is pain.
You never got raped before.
Of course it is lame to you.
The feelings that evolved from being raped is soul destructive.
It makes you doubt what you believe in ,lose faith and start entertaining thoughts that because you are a trash, useless , pest and a vermin to be cleared from this world.
Yeah.It is lame if others tell you this.
It isnt lame if you feel it this way.
You wont not even dare to face others, because you will know that you are "different".
You have this dirty secret that will make people shun you away like leapers.
And when people do shun you away whether they know you have this problem or not, they will suicide because they dont feel belong to the living.
Since primary 6 I felt that way.
Because I cared too much for my mum and this person
I chose to protect them
and see this thing destroying myself.
These self destroying feelings eat you up from inside.
It will never end.
Action must be taken.Time will not heal any wounds of such genre.
Trust me.
It is only the begining and life will only become tougher if you cant accept yourself.
For me, it is amplify because of my back problems.
Why did I suddenly typed all of these?
One, I must learn to accept my past because it is the first step to accepting myself.
two, My friend was recently having the same problem as me, I want to convince her to take an action .
Three, to the person who told me it was lame to tell her that.
To tell you the truth, not anyone can boost of it.
Not anyone who was raped repeatly constantly over a period of years can still survive.
It takes a lot of willpower, [I have nth lack of it cos I am stubborn]
To reach the stage I am in.
which is to sit down in front of the computer and type this.
My dear friend.
I took years.
I wont expect you to fly and report it by this week.
I know it is impossible.
I know how tough it is to say it.
But u will always have me as a friend.
Suddenly,
I feel that everyone is ignoring me.
I know it is very tiring to have someone like me as a friend.
Someone who was onced raped dont make good friends because they have too much wounds to recover from.
Besides that, they are temperatate and they are no longer who you know.
They have such low self esteem till they can make people around them either sick with frustrations or worries.
Because they are suicidal.
I am not trying to say how pityful I am and it is not lame.
To me it isnt lame.
It is pain.
You never got raped before.
Of course it is lame to you.
The feelings that evolved from being raped is soul destructive.
It makes you doubt what you believe in ,lose faith and start entertaining thoughts that because you are a trash, useless , pest and a vermin to be cleared from this world.
Yeah.It is lame if others tell you this.
It isnt lame if you feel it this way.
You wont not even dare to face others, because you will know that you are "different".
You have this dirty secret that will make people shun you away like leapers.
And when people do shun you away whether they know you have this problem or not, they will suicide because they dont feel belong to the living.
Since primary 6 I felt that way.
Because I cared too much for my mum and this person
I chose to protect them
and see this thing destroying myself.
These self destroying feelings eat you up from inside.
It will never end.
Action must be taken.Time will not heal any wounds of such genre.
Trust me.
It is only the begining and life will only become tougher if you cant accept yourself.
For me, it is amplify because of my back problems.
Why did I suddenly typed all of these?
One, I must learn to accept my past because it is the first step to accepting myself.
two, My friend was recently having the same problem as me, I want to convince her to take an action .
Three, to the person who told me it was lame to tell her that.
To tell you the truth, not anyone can boost of it.
Not anyone who was raped repeatly constantly over a period of years can still survive.
It takes a lot of willpower, [I have nth lack of it cos I am stubborn]
To reach the stage I am in.
which is to sit down in front of the computer and type this.
My dear friend.
I took years.
I wont expect you to fly and report it by this week.
I know it is impossible.
I know how tough it is to say it.
But u will always have me as a friend.
i know that i have loved you ... at 2/24/2006 08:55:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities