Friday, February 10, 2006
I was really excited to seeing them today.
So excited that it wasnt cold inside for once.
When the results were release,
I could see from your expression that you were neither happy nor sad,
probably you didnt take it quite well.
Actually ,
I was so excited to see you till I felt as if I would hug you at the first sight of you.
But the expression held in your face detered me.
In fact , I could feel that icy feeling again.
I dont know.
But I was upset when you showed that you didnt want to see me.
That was what I fear.
You did the same thing like the you in my dream.
So it wasn't false.
Sometimes,
whenever I think about it,
I feel really bad.
Why can't I keep friends who mean a lot to me?
All my friends came into my life,
left without a sound,
leaving me behind with regrets that will last for e rest of my life time,
with memories that can only be memories.
with gulit that cannot be erase,
with fear that would haunt me.
I am afraid that one day
everyone will just leave me behind,
leave me behind to clear up all the mess,
leave me behind,scarred.
I cant help it.
Even though I know that you dont want me in your life,
I just cant help just treating you the same way I used to when we were friends.
And be hurted by your actions and words.
I am just tired of being myself.
So excited that it wasnt cold inside for once.
When the results were release,
I could see from your expression that you were neither happy nor sad,
probably you didnt take it quite well.
Actually ,
I was so excited to see you till I felt as if I would hug you at the first sight of you.
But the expression held in your face detered me.
In fact , I could feel that icy feeling again.
I dont know.
But I was upset when you showed that you didnt want to see me.
That was what I fear.
You did the same thing like the you in my dream.
So it wasn't false.
Sometimes,
whenever I think about it,
I feel really bad.
Why can't I keep friends who mean a lot to me?
All my friends came into my life,
left without a sound,
leaving me behind with regrets that will last for e rest of my life time,
with memories that can only be memories.
with gulit that cannot be erase,
with fear that would haunt me.
I am afraid that one day
everyone will just leave me behind,
leave me behind to clear up all the mess,
leave me behind,scarred.
I cant help it.
Even though I know that you dont want me in your life,
I just cant help just treating you the same way I used to when we were friends.
And be hurted by your actions and words.
I am just tired of being myself.
i know that i have loved you ... at 2/10/2006 03:57:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities