Tuesday, February 26, 2008
"Hold on by Good Charlotte"
http://www.youtube.com/v/oOoty9z_rCk
Should try to watch it.
I guess because I was once in that predicament in which I had to make a choice.
At that point of time, nothing seem to be worth waiting for .
I had a warped sense of logic.
Well, most people chose to suicide because they are egocentric but I wanted to because I thought it would be better off for everyone.
At those moments, when I stood there and felt the gush of the cold night wind,
I could taste freedom.
The sweetness of it piercing through that thick cloud of hopelessness and despair but I realised something.
I could not bear leaving the people I called "friends" or be ready to see what lies after that step.
The song reminded me of all those memories.
Somehow, I realised that in that wretched past,
I was waiting for someone to tell me to hold on .
Yeah, life is a pile of trash sometimes, but when you reach to the depth of it, it could only improve and not spiral down.
What are peaks when you don't have trenches?
http://www.youtube.com/v/oOoty9z_rCk
Should try to watch it.
I guess because I was once in that predicament in which I had to make a choice.
At that point of time, nothing seem to be worth waiting for .
I had a warped sense of logic.
Well, most people chose to suicide because they are egocentric but I wanted to because I thought it would be better off for everyone.
At those moments, when I stood there and felt the gush of the cold night wind,
I could taste freedom.
The sweetness of it piercing through that thick cloud of hopelessness and despair but I realised something.
I could not bear leaving the people I called "friends" or be ready to see what lies after that step.
The song reminded me of all those memories.
Somehow, I realised that in that wretched past,
I was waiting for someone to tell me to hold on .
Yeah, life is a pile of trash sometimes, but when you reach to the depth of it, it could only improve and not spiral down.
What are peaks when you don't have trenches?
i know that i have loved you ... at 2/26/2008 01:50:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Thursday, February 21, 2008
As He walks with me
And He talks to me
He tells me I am His own.
The joy we share
as we tarry there
none other has ever known
"Sam, You are so beautiful. I love you."
I broke down and wept.
He knows how sinful and ugly I am yet he loves me and said that I was beautiful.
What can I do but feel touched that You love me for who I am.
I don't deserve your mercy or your love.
You brought me out of the darkness and let me feel the warmth of Your light.
You require no offering or sacrifice
just my humble heart
I learn to love because You have first loved me.
You call me your own.
Blessed me overwelmingly.
You gave me strength as I keep your ways.
And hide me under Your wings when things become too harsh.
Your light is my strength and comfort when all else fades.
I praise you Lord, Kings of Kings even during this period when I am broken.
Thank you lord
For saving me.
Lord,
Thank you for being there for me at every single moment of my life
And He talks to me
He tells me I am His own.
The joy we share
as we tarry there
none other has ever known
"Sam, You are so beautiful. I love you."
I broke down and wept.
He knows how sinful and ugly I am yet he loves me and said that I was beautiful.
What can I do but feel touched that You love me for who I am.
I don't deserve your mercy or your love.
You brought me out of the darkness and let me feel the warmth of Your light.
You require no offering or sacrifice
just my humble heart
I learn to love because You have first loved me.
You call me your own.
Blessed me overwelmingly.
You gave me strength as I keep your ways.
And hide me under Your wings when things become too harsh.
Your light is my strength and comfort when all else fades.
I praise you Lord, Kings of Kings even during this period when I am broken.
Thank you lord
For saving me.
Lord,
Thank you for being there for me at every single moment of my life
i know that i have loved you ... at 2/21/2008 05:55:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Enrique Iglesias
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH........Isn't he hot?
I fell in love with his spanish song "Dimelo" or Don't you know.
I think he sounds fantastic when he sings in his native tongue rather than English.
Seriously think that I fall in love with his songs!
Anyway, recently when to de-stress by playing drummania.
I finally got a S for Libra (extreme) and As for Dakienkai(advance) and Sailing day(advance).
Too bad i didn't get SS (straight Ss) or I would have been able to play an extra stage.
I finally managed to play the straight constant beats.
I am usually bad at it because I will get spasm from playing.
Yeah, I once seen a pro on the machine.
He got SS and he managed to play the encore stage which means he played the normal 4 songs plus the extra stage, then the encore stage. He got SS throughout and he was playing songs like madblast (extreme) Toccata(extreme) Agnus Dei (Extreme). The toughest songs you can imagine playing on drummania and he got S!
He was so impressive!
Felt that peace in my heart finally.
Maybe because it's the end of the week and I don't have to face my problems therefore I can finally feel at rest.
i know that i have loved you ... at 2/16/2008 11:59:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Things have been really crazy for me for the past two weeks.
I have been engaging in many long , metally, physically,emotionally draining battles.
It's just re-living my past now.
The intense pain from my back consuming my mind , the frequent bouts of headaches that accompanies it, the loss of something dear, the lack of the ability to think coherently, the confusion and the emotional pain , the dreaded nightmares.
Yes, it really parallels the past.
It mirrors the past except for a few things.
One , I have faith that I will pull throught it and will make it in time for the block test. Two, I have not done anything that warrants me to feel bad. Three, God is here for me. Four, my family is quite stable.
I still think that friendship is a gift though it is really hurting me.
An irony but yes, I do believe.
I had never trusted people or cared for people easily because I am so super paranoid.
Yet I did.
What did I recieved in return?
Betrayal in the form I had once swore not to allow anyone do it.
What you did was what I had always strived to prevent.
To use something that is really me and hurt me.
You were everything I was living to protect myself from.
Damn it.
I can't believe that I damn still trust you.
Because I have forgiven you.
I hate such situations when I realised that I have to re-learn things.
I don't have much faith in people for a start,
I really don't know how long could I last.
Do this friendship mean so much to me?
I have been engaging in many long , metally, physically,emotionally draining battles.
It's just re-living my past now.
The intense pain from my back consuming my mind , the frequent bouts of headaches that accompanies it, the loss of something dear, the lack of the ability to think coherently, the confusion and the emotional pain , the dreaded nightmares.
Yes, it really parallels the past.
It mirrors the past except for a few things.
One , I have faith that I will pull throught it and will make it in time for the block test. Two, I have not done anything that warrants me to feel bad. Three, God is here for me. Four, my family is quite stable.
I still think that friendship is a gift though it is really hurting me.
An irony but yes, I do believe.
I had never trusted people or cared for people easily because I am so super paranoid.
Yet I did.
What did I recieved in return?
Betrayal in the form I had once swore not to allow anyone do it.
What you did was what I had always strived to prevent.
To use something that is really me and hurt me.
You were everything I was living to protect myself from.
Damn it.
I can't believe that I damn still trust you.
Because I have forgiven you.
I hate such situations when I realised that I have to re-learn things.
I don't have much faith in people for a start,
I really don't know how long could I last.
Do this friendship mean so much to me?
i know that i have loved you ... at 2/13/2008 06:52:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities