Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Things have been really crazy for me for the past two weeks.
I have been engaging in many long , metally, physically,emotionally draining battles.
It's just re-living my past now.
The intense pain from my back consuming my mind , the frequent bouts of headaches that accompanies it, the loss of something dear, the lack of the ability to think coherently, the confusion and the emotional pain , the dreaded nightmares.
Yes, it really parallels the past.
It mirrors the past except for a few things.
One , I have faith that I will pull throught it and will make it in time for the block test. Two, I have not done anything that warrants me to feel bad. Three, God is here for me. Four, my family is quite stable.
I still think that friendship is a gift though it is really hurting me.
An irony but yes, I do believe.
I had never trusted people or cared for people easily because I am so super paranoid.
Yet I did.
What did I recieved in return?
Betrayal in the form I had once swore not to allow anyone do it.
What you did was what I had always strived to prevent.
To use something that is really me and hurt me.
You were everything I was living to protect myself from.
Damn it.
I can't believe that I damn still trust you.
Because I have forgiven you.
I hate such situations when I realised that I have to re-learn things.
I don't have much faith in people for a start,
I really don't know how long could I last.
Do this friendship mean so much to me?
I have been engaging in many long , metally, physically,emotionally draining battles.
It's just re-living my past now.
The intense pain from my back consuming my mind , the frequent bouts of headaches that accompanies it, the loss of something dear, the lack of the ability to think coherently, the confusion and the emotional pain , the dreaded nightmares.
Yes, it really parallels the past.
It mirrors the past except for a few things.
One , I have faith that I will pull throught it and will make it in time for the block test. Two, I have not done anything that warrants me to feel bad. Three, God is here for me. Four, my family is quite stable.
I still think that friendship is a gift though it is really hurting me.
An irony but yes, I do believe.
I had never trusted people or cared for people easily because I am so super paranoid.
Yet I did.
What did I recieved in return?
Betrayal in the form I had once swore not to allow anyone do it.
What you did was what I had always strived to prevent.
To use something that is really me and hurt me.
You were everything I was living to protect myself from.
Damn it.
I can't believe that I damn still trust you.
Because I have forgiven you.
I hate such situations when I realised that I have to re-learn things.
I don't have much faith in people for a start,
I really don't know how long could I last.
Do this friendship mean so much to me?
i know that i have loved you ... at 2/13/2008 06:52:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities