Sunday, April 27, 2008
Had a great day today.
For once, I verbalised that fear.
It didn't sound that stupid after all...
He was waiting for me to say that...
She got the rest of my fears though.
I want to fear god, not things from this world.
I realised that I had such a myopic view of God and I didn't appreciate Him as much as I should.
My fear of being the recieving end of His wrath made the sacrifice of Jesus Christ even more endearing.
He could always leave us to die or punish us , but He didn't.
He paid our debts with his blood on the cross.
We can't even tarry in His holy presence if Jesus didn't pay the debt for us because we are all sinners and He, the holy one, cannot stand sin.
It's just amazing beyond words
For once, I verbalised that fear.
It didn't sound that stupid after all...
He was waiting for me to say that...
She got the rest of my fears though.
I want to fear god, not things from this world.
I realised that I had such a myopic view of God and I didn't appreciate Him as much as I should.
My fear of being the recieving end of His wrath made the sacrifice of Jesus Christ even more endearing.
He could always leave us to die or punish us , but He didn't.
He paid our debts with his blood on the cross.
We can't even tarry in His holy presence if Jesus didn't pay the debt for us because we are all sinners and He, the holy one, cannot stand sin.
It's just amazing beyond words
i know that i have loved you ... at 4/27/2008 10:29:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
What happens if a doctor tells you that you've got only three months to live?
How would you react?
Someone asked me this question recently and I was quite baffled by it.
Well, I always thought I had an answer to this question till recently.
I couldn't really answer the person.
As for the person who asked me the question,
he thank the doctor and was glad about it.
It'snt that he found life too stressful or despairing to live on,
but he felt that he was going home.
Home to where our perfect Father is.
Then I was baffled by my lack of reply.
I thought I would say that I would be glad because I wouldn't have to continue living.
But, the thing is , I want to continue living now.
I want to see all the things that God has promised me.
It's not as if life 's a bed of roses compared to the past,
it isn't.
The thing that has changed is that I do see hope.
No longer comparing which deep pit was better, but really excited to see what will happen.
Well, that's all. folks.
By the way, Kyou Kara Maou is super super super nice.
All those bored pplz out there reading my blog =P , go youtube and watch it.
it's Kyou Kara Maou.
How would you react?
Someone asked me this question recently and I was quite baffled by it.
Well, I always thought I had an answer to this question till recently.
I couldn't really answer the person.
As for the person who asked me the question,
he thank the doctor and was glad about it.
It'snt that he found life too stressful or despairing to live on,
but he felt that he was going home.
Home to where our perfect Father is.
Then I was baffled by my lack of reply.
I thought I would say that I would be glad because I wouldn't have to continue living.
But, the thing is , I want to continue living now.
I want to see all the things that God has promised me.
It's not as if life 's a bed of roses compared to the past,
it isn't.
The thing that has changed is that I do see hope.
No longer comparing which deep pit was better, but really excited to see what will happen.
Well, that's all. folks.
By the way, Kyou Kara Maou is super super super nice.
All those bored pplz out there reading my blog =P , go youtube and watch it.
it's Kyou Kara Maou.
i know that i have loved you ... at 4/23/2008 10:34:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Monday, April 21, 2008
It's a really odd day.
I think I went super and overly high, because I even call Edelyn "Bestie."
Not that she isn't a good friend of mine.
But I call someone "bestie" leh!
It's just weird.
EL drama night was traumatising.
Esp...
Sat down there,
recalled about everything someone said to me.
I...
Couldn't face someone so I walked off to join those party goers
Never thought how comforting being in crowds were.
The lights, the sounds, the people, the life.
It was stark contrast to what I experience in the SRT.
Choir concert was okay, I guess.
Had a junkie party.
Oh well.
today was a strange day.
I didn't know how to react.
I think I went super and overly high, because I even call Edelyn "Bestie."
Not that she isn't a good friend of mine.
But I call someone "bestie" leh!
It's just weird.
EL drama night was traumatising.
Esp...
Sat down there,
recalled about everything someone said to me.
I...
Couldn't face someone so I walked off to join those party goers
Never thought how comforting being in crowds were.
The lights, the sounds, the people, the life.
It was stark contrast to what I experience in the SRT.
Choir concert was okay, I guess.
Had a junkie party.
Oh well.
today was a strange day.
I didn't know how to react.
i know that i have loved you ... at 4/21/2008 09:21:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Sunday, April 06, 2008
I am recently hooked onto writting stories for fanfiction. Kinda heartening to know that people do enjoy what I write though I am not that good with writing.
It's so funny that people don't review my chapters but add me to author or story alert.
My blues haven't fade away yet.
I am really happy that I have friends who really care, like rou rou and banquet.
Really made my day.
They always do.
Recalled about last year, they seem to always chase away the blues, together with sie fen.
I can be who I am.
Be absolutely nuts and enjoy each other's company.
I remembered when I first met that friend this year , I was so ecstatic, I even told rou rou about it.
Yeah, I was so happy then because at least after they have left school, there is someone I can be comfortable with.
Hmm.
Just looking forward to the next meeting.
Hahax.. must think of something to owe them so that we can have subsequent meetings =P
I didn't go to church today.
Didn't want to.
Don't feel like wearing a mask today.
Found it ironic.
My parent are the people who discourages me from going to church yet they are the people who criticise when I don't.
Mind boggling.
It's so funny that people don't review my chapters but add me to author or story alert.
My blues haven't fade away yet.
I am really happy that I have friends who really care, like rou rou and banquet.
Really made my day.
They always do.
Recalled about last year, they seem to always chase away the blues, together with sie fen.
I can be who I am.
Be absolutely nuts and enjoy each other's company.
I remembered when I first met that friend this year , I was so ecstatic, I even told rou rou about it.
Yeah, I was so happy then because at least after they have left school, there is someone I can be comfortable with.
Hmm.
Just looking forward to the next meeting.
Hahax.. must think of something to owe them so that we can have subsequent meetings =P
I didn't go to church today.
Didn't want to.
Don't feel like wearing a mask today.
Found it ironic.
My parent are the people who discourages me from going to church yet they are the people who criticise when I don't.
Mind boggling.
i know that i have loved you ... at 4/06/2008 10:24:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Saturday, April 05, 2008
I realised that there is nothing else to do but to remain angry with you because when I don't, I will miss you and it will hurt.
I didn't know anything.
Didn't know that they were angry.
Wanted to tell you that it came as a shock to me.
I thought they understood so I thought I need not do so.
I really thought so..
I really didn't know.
I thought they just didn't like me, never had questioned why.
Perhaps...
What could I do even if I knew?
My actions betrayed cool logic.
But is love really logical?
If you must harm someone, would you choose that someone to be yourself or someone you love?
I just chose not to harm others.
You can judge me all you want with your myopic outlook of life.
I am as satisfied as you are that we have nothing to do with each other.
Just don't take away anything from me with your judgement.
Just don't take that.
It means something to me.
It really means something to me.
Logic would tell you that my actions proved that I was lying.
Then that same logic would even tell you that an arrogant person would not victimised oneself because it would diminish others perspection of one's invulnerability.
I am proud, so proud till I could not apologise to you without appearing angry,
so proud till people could even comment that I was angry with you even though I was about to apologise, so proud till I was lack of sincerity.
One day, if you ever seen this post,
I want to thank you for opening my eyes to everything.
I thank you for my grades because I will work even harder to forget everything again.
I want to dull myself with work in school.
Because being angry needs a lot of effort.
And it's harmful to my health and studies.
Good luck to you too and I will always keep you in prayer.
When I told you I cared for you three times,
it meant that I trusted you,
that you are not another pawn I used,
that you mean alot to me.
At least, still at this point of time.
I didn't know anything.
Didn't know that they were angry.
Wanted to tell you that it came as a shock to me.
I thought they understood so I thought I need not do so.
I really thought so..
I really didn't know.
I thought they just didn't like me, never had questioned why.
Perhaps...
What could I do even if I knew?
My actions betrayed cool logic.
But is love really logical?
If you must harm someone, would you choose that someone to be yourself or someone you love?
I just chose not to harm others.
You can judge me all you want with your myopic outlook of life.
I am as satisfied as you are that we have nothing to do with each other.
Just don't take away anything from me with your judgement.
Just don't take that.
It means something to me.
It really means something to me.
Logic would tell you that my actions proved that I was lying.
Then that same logic would even tell you that an arrogant person would not victimised oneself because it would diminish others perspection of one's invulnerability.
I am proud, so proud till I could not apologise to you without appearing angry,
so proud till people could even comment that I was angry with you even though I was about to apologise, so proud till I was lack of sincerity.
One day, if you ever seen this post,
I want to thank you for opening my eyes to everything.
I thank you for my grades because I will work even harder to forget everything again.
I want to dull myself with work in school.
Because being angry needs a lot of effort.
And it's harmful to my health and studies.
Good luck to you too and I will always keep you in prayer.
When I told you I cared for you three times,
it meant that I trusted you,
that you are not another pawn I used,
that you mean alot to me.
At least, still at this point of time.
i know that i have loved you ... at 4/05/2008 11:54:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
I kinda feeling emo-ish today because of my "excellent" results and of course because of school.
My brain has been quite clear recently since I am constantly taking medication.
No nagging pain until I am off the medication, which is good because I want to concetrate on my work.
I cannot let my health be the reason I under-perform again.
I feel so damn bloody irriated by myself.
Didn't want to wake up from the dream because I don't wanna come back to reality.
Yeah, don't wanna wake up because it might be the last time we will crap with each other.
Or the last time we will sing together.
The last hug.
I am tired.
Let me run away from life and hide in my refuge.
My brain has been quite clear recently since I am constantly taking medication.
No nagging pain until I am off the medication, which is good because I want to concetrate on my work.
I cannot let my health be the reason I under-perform again.
I feel so damn bloody irriated by myself.
Didn't want to wake up from the dream because I don't wanna come back to reality.
Yeah, don't wanna wake up because it might be the last time we will crap with each other.
Or the last time we will sing together.
The last hug.
I am tired.
Let me run away from life and hide in my refuge.
i know that i have loved you ... at 4/02/2008 10:42:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities