Monday, September 01, 2008
Changes.
Perhaps I have grown resistant to changes in my life because I am desperately finding a physical platform for me to anchor myself on.
Life's full of changes, so I can't be so weak to feel sad about minor changes.
I know it's bollocks that I should be given the space to be emo about it because I am going through a period of change.
I guess I am not laying everything down at god's feet because my crippling sense of insecurity is just suffocating me.
Nightmares, weird dreams, Literature, weird people, funerals just building up that insecurity and fear.
I know who I am- a child of god, but I'm not living to it.
I'm not living the way god wants me to live.
I lie on the bed at night, wondering what the darkness will bring.
More exposure of my past or just the same old horror tape played in my head?
Lying there in fatigue and in pain, unsure if slumber could even provide me with the solace I need.
Those residue of darkness still linger on in this haven of mine.
Threatening even though I know I am physically safe.
I am afraid.
God placed the fear of you in my heart so that I can no longer fear.
Even now, I will continue to praise you because you are my god.
Perhaps I have grown resistant to changes in my life because I am desperately finding a physical platform for me to anchor myself on.
Life's full of changes, so I can't be so weak to feel sad about minor changes.
I know it's bollocks that I should be given the space to be emo about it because I am going through a period of change.
I guess I am not laying everything down at god's feet because my crippling sense of insecurity is just suffocating me.
Nightmares, weird dreams, Literature, weird people, funerals just building up that insecurity and fear.
I know who I am- a child of god, but I'm not living to it.
I'm not living the way god wants me to live.
I lie on the bed at night, wondering what the darkness will bring.
More exposure of my past or just the same old horror tape played in my head?
Lying there in fatigue and in pain, unsure if slumber could even provide me with the solace I need.
Those residue of darkness still linger on in this haven of mine.
Threatening even though I know I am physically safe.
I am afraid.
God placed the fear of you in my heart so that I can no longer fear.
Even now, I will continue to praise you because you are my god.
i know that i have loved you ... at 9/01/2008 09:32:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities