Monday, August 25, 2008
My father, my hero?
Perharps for the first time ever, my sister and I had really understood how each other felt and we wept together throughout the sermon and on our way home .
We had attended a sermon entitled "My father, my hero" and it was a great healing experience for the both of us.
"What would you want me to do for you? What would you like me not to do?" I doubt that my father would ever ask that from my sister and I but when we heard Jason encouraging the fathers to do so, I started crying.
I want him to spend more time with us. I want him to be our strength when we need him. I want him to listen.I don't want him to bully my mummy, to vent his frustration, misery, unforgiveness on us. I don't want him to impose his thinking on us. I don't want him to lose temper easily and behave like a immature kid. So did my sister.
Don't misunderstand me that my dad doesn't love my family. He does in his own way. It's just that he was never a good dad to us , a good husband to my mummy or a good head of the household.
He didn't had parents or a family who loved him thus he couldn't love. He is always demanding love from others to make up for the lack of love in his life when he is young.
When the fathers attending the youth service stood before all of us and asked for our forgiveness. I was struggling not to cry. I couldn't help but imagine that those was his words to me and my sister but I had to remind myself that it wasn't. My dad wouldn't and he wasn't a christian and I wept even harder. My dad would never ask forgiveness or try to be a better father.
Then there was the altar call for those who need to be healed. I didn't think I had to at that point of time because I didn't think I needed healing. The holy spirit thought differently and encouraged me forward. I was alright when I was standing at my seat but as I walked all the way to the altar, I realised that my eyes were misty and I was on the verge of crying.
I kneeled and cried.
I didn't know why I was crying but I was.
My friend prayed for me and I heard god speaking through her.
He comforted me and I feel so secure at that time. I feel like a child in his presence, like I don't have to pretend to be more than I am like how my parents expect me to be and I can give in to be me.
I know that he is always there for me to give me comfort that my real father can't, nourishing me with His love so that I can learn to love and forgive others.
God is great! He's my hero..
We had attended a sermon entitled "My father, my hero" and it was a great healing experience for the both of us.
"What would you want me to do for you? What would you like me not to do?" I doubt that my father would ever ask that from my sister and I but when we heard Jason encouraging the fathers to do so, I started crying.
I want him to spend more time with us. I want him to be our strength when we need him. I want him to listen.I don't want him to bully my mummy, to vent his frustration, misery, unforgiveness on us. I don't want him to impose his thinking on us. I don't want him to lose temper easily and behave like a immature kid. So did my sister.
Don't misunderstand me that my dad doesn't love my family. He does in his own way. It's just that he was never a good dad to us , a good husband to my mummy or a good head of the household.
He didn't had parents or a family who loved him thus he couldn't love. He is always demanding love from others to make up for the lack of love in his life when he is young.
When the fathers attending the youth service stood before all of us and asked for our forgiveness. I was struggling not to cry. I couldn't help but imagine that those was his words to me and my sister but I had to remind myself that it wasn't. My dad wouldn't and he wasn't a christian and I wept even harder. My dad would never ask forgiveness or try to be a better father.
Then there was the altar call for those who need to be healed. I didn't think I had to at that point of time because I didn't think I needed healing. The holy spirit thought differently and encouraged me forward. I was alright when I was standing at my seat but as I walked all the way to the altar, I realised that my eyes were misty and I was on the verge of crying.
I kneeled and cried.
I didn't know why I was crying but I was.
My friend prayed for me and I heard god speaking through her.
He comforted me and I feel so secure at that time. I feel like a child in his presence, like I don't have to pretend to be more than I am like how my parents expect me to be and I can give in to be me.
I know that he is always there for me to give me comfort that my real father can't, nourishing me with His love so that I can learn to love and forgive others.
God is great! He's my hero..
i know that i have loved you ... at 8/25/2008 02:34:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Friday, August 22, 2008
I've got quite alot to talk about today.
Well, I must share about what happened the day before.
In a nut shell, it was a very odd day.
I was angry with one of my friend simply because she refused to study with me and I was sulking like a naughty kid around the school.
My gosh.
It's so illogical that I get angry with her simply because she refused to study and that I get angry with her even.
That silly girl was so understanding that she didn't say anything even though it was so uncalled for.
But anyway, despite thinking that it was weird that I was angry about it and that I was even sulking, I gave way to my childish side.
I sulk for an hour in the library.
It made me thought about it for quite a while.
I concluded that I was quite stress therefore I sort of lost control of my feelings.
Realised that I was so stressed about my health and literature.
I lay them all down at the feet of Jesus and he restored me!
Well, I must share about what happened the day before.
In a nut shell, it was a very odd day.
I was angry with one of my friend simply because she refused to study with me and I was sulking like a naughty kid around the school.
My gosh.
It's so illogical that I get angry with her simply because she refused to study and that I get angry with her even.
That silly girl was so understanding that she didn't say anything even though it was so uncalled for.
But anyway, despite thinking that it was weird that I was angry about it and that I was even sulking, I gave way to my childish side.
I sulk for an hour in the library.
It made me thought about it for quite a while.
I concluded that I was quite stress therefore I sort of lost control of my feelings.
Realised that I was so stressed about my health and literature.
I lay them all down at the feet of Jesus and he restored me!
i know that i have loved you ... at 8/22/2008 12:04:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Sunday, August 10, 2008
I've been feeling a little low in spirit,So low till I can almost hear someone fruitlessly trying to wind me up with those all too familiar words, "Work work work."
Undoubtedly, the best way of "healing" broken spirits is to take a plunge into my studies and work mindlessly but that's not what I need at this point of time.
I don't even know what I need to do now.
It's sunday but my soul is all weary and low.
Undoubtedly, the best way of "healing" broken spirits is to take a plunge into my studies and work mindlessly but that's not what I need at this point of time.
I don't even know what I need to do now.
It's sunday but my soul is all weary and low.
i know that i have loved you ... at 8/10/2008 10:28:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
I think I shall blog about my birthday.
Thank god for such an amazing one!!
I was first shocked by my cellmates dropping sms to wish me happy birthday because I didn't think that they actually knew. Well, haha, but they did.
Then in them morning ,I was surprised by my cellmates, Stef and her sister Sam.Sam had brought something to my school backgate to celebrate my birthday.They got me this!!
I was really touched la.. cos Sam was going straight to work after that!=)
Then Stef brought me out and we had lots of fun eating and playing arcade.
Hohoho... this is Stef's first attempt at drums.. SHE ROCKS at it.
We were playing Drum mania V4
Oh yeah!!! My best friend had actually called me in the night to wish me happy birthday!
We've been friends since I was sec 1 and she always forgets it.
This is the first time she actually remembered!!!
Then on sunday, my cell group celebrated my birthday.
Though it was no surprise that they got me something and a card.
Because they gave it away from the start of the service.
I nearly cried while they were blessing me.
They were so nice...
Then my two buddy brought me to serangoon garden to treat me after my service ended.
Of course, it rocked! Wahhahax...
I just love spending time with them...
I met Amy on Monday and we exchange presents and had a lot of fun chatting with each other. My dearest sister cook up a meal to celebrate my birthday after I came home from meeting amy.So adorable right???
I really had fun la..
It's such an amazing year.
Things are so much nicer now.
It's just different.
I thank god for it and for giving me such wonderful people.
i know that i have loved you ... at 8/06/2008 03:42:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities