Monday, August 25, 2008
My father, my hero?
Perharps for the first time ever, my sister and I had really understood how each other felt and we wept together throughout the sermon and on our way home .
We had attended a sermon entitled "My father, my hero" and it was a great healing experience for the both of us.
"What would you want me to do for you? What would you like me not to do?" I doubt that my father would ever ask that from my sister and I but when we heard Jason encouraging the fathers to do so, I started crying.
I want him to spend more time with us. I want him to be our strength when we need him. I want him to listen.I don't want him to bully my mummy, to vent his frustration, misery, unforgiveness on us. I don't want him to impose his thinking on us. I don't want him to lose temper easily and behave like a immature kid. So did my sister.
Don't misunderstand me that my dad doesn't love my family. He does in his own way. It's just that he was never a good dad to us , a good husband to my mummy or a good head of the household.
He didn't had parents or a family who loved him thus he couldn't love. He is always demanding love from others to make up for the lack of love in his life when he is young.
When the fathers attending the youth service stood before all of us and asked for our forgiveness. I was struggling not to cry. I couldn't help but imagine that those was his words to me and my sister but I had to remind myself that it wasn't. My dad wouldn't and he wasn't a christian and I wept even harder. My dad would never ask forgiveness or try to be a better father.
Then there was the altar call for those who need to be healed. I didn't think I had to at that point of time because I didn't think I needed healing. The holy spirit thought differently and encouraged me forward. I was alright when I was standing at my seat but as I walked all the way to the altar, I realised that my eyes were misty and I was on the verge of crying.
I kneeled and cried.
I didn't know why I was crying but I was.
My friend prayed for me and I heard god speaking through her.
He comforted me and I feel so secure at that time. I feel like a child in his presence, like I don't have to pretend to be more than I am like how my parents expect me to be and I can give in to be me.
I know that he is always there for me to give me comfort that my real father can't, nourishing me with His love so that I can learn to love and forgive others.
God is great! He's my hero..
We had attended a sermon entitled "My father, my hero" and it was a great healing experience for the both of us.
"What would you want me to do for you? What would you like me not to do?" I doubt that my father would ever ask that from my sister and I but when we heard Jason encouraging the fathers to do so, I started crying.
I want him to spend more time with us. I want him to be our strength when we need him. I want him to listen.I don't want him to bully my mummy, to vent his frustration, misery, unforgiveness on us. I don't want him to impose his thinking on us. I don't want him to lose temper easily and behave like a immature kid. So did my sister.
Don't misunderstand me that my dad doesn't love my family. He does in his own way. It's just that he was never a good dad to us , a good husband to my mummy or a good head of the household.
He didn't had parents or a family who loved him thus he couldn't love. He is always demanding love from others to make up for the lack of love in his life when he is young.
When the fathers attending the youth service stood before all of us and asked for our forgiveness. I was struggling not to cry. I couldn't help but imagine that those was his words to me and my sister but I had to remind myself that it wasn't. My dad wouldn't and he wasn't a christian and I wept even harder. My dad would never ask forgiveness or try to be a better father.
Then there was the altar call for those who need to be healed. I didn't think I had to at that point of time because I didn't think I needed healing. The holy spirit thought differently and encouraged me forward. I was alright when I was standing at my seat but as I walked all the way to the altar, I realised that my eyes were misty and I was on the verge of crying.
I kneeled and cried.
I didn't know why I was crying but I was.
My friend prayed for me and I heard god speaking through her.
He comforted me and I feel so secure at that time. I feel like a child in his presence, like I don't have to pretend to be more than I am like how my parents expect me to be and I can give in to be me.
I know that he is always there for me to give me comfort that my real father can't, nourishing me with His love so that I can learn to love and forgive others.
God is great! He's my hero..
i know that i have loved you ... at 8/25/2008 02:34:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities