Saturday, October 31, 2009
I wonder if one could just stop caring for someone when one's job ends.
My answer is no.
I was excited and happy to see my ex student at the bus- stop today.
I remember every single student I taught for the past few months.
Their sillines and their cuteness.
After two weeks, I find myself missing them. I'm still checking with my friend how they're faring back at school.
Of course, there are things that I don't miss about them.
I'm sure I'll be skinless if I return during lunch time to see them.
Of course, I start to miss them again if I visit them.
It's so difficult to stop caring for a person when you start.
Not something I'm unfamiliar about, but it makes me wonder if all my teachers feel that way.
My answer is no.
I was excited and happy to see my ex student at the bus- stop today.
I remember every single student I taught for the past few months.
Their sillines and their cuteness.
After two weeks, I find myself missing them. I'm still checking with my friend how they're faring back at school.
Of course, there are things that I don't miss about them.
I'm sure I'll be skinless if I return during lunch time to see them.
Of course, I start to miss them again if I visit them.
It's so difficult to stop caring for a person when you start.
Not something I'm unfamiliar about, but it makes me wonder if all my teachers feel that way.
i know that i have loved you ... at 10/31/2009 02:00:00 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Thinking about my purpose
Day 3
"You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you." Isaiah 26:3
I'm not too sure what would people say if I ask them what is the driving force in my life. I've a feeling it might be guilt and fear. I think I always live a life propelled by these two and I know that I'm entrapped because of them. I want to live a life that is driven by the purpose God has created me for- to live a fulfilling and free life. I believe that God has a purpose for me and that He will reveal it in bits.
"You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you." Isaiah 26:3
I'm not too sure what would people say if I ask them what is the driving force in my life. I've a feeling it might be guilt and fear. I think I always live a life propelled by these two and I know that I'm entrapped because of them. I want to live a life that is driven by the purpose God has created me for- to live a fulfilling and free life. I believe that God has a purpose for me and that He will reveal it in bits.
i know that i have loved you ... at 10/22/2009 11:14:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
You are not an Accident Day 2
"I am Your Creator. You were even in my care before you were born." Isaiah 44:2
You are who you are for a reason.
You are part of an intricate plan.
You are a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.
You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knitted you together within the womb,
You're JUST what he wanted to make.
The parents that you had are the ones He chose.
and no matter how you may feel,
they were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
and they bear the Master's seal.
No, that trauma you face was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
so that into his likeness you'd grow.
You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are,beloved,
Because there is a God!
You are who you are for a reason.
You are part of an intricate plan.
You are a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.
You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knitted you together within the womb,
You're JUST what he wanted to make.
The parents that you had are the ones He chose.
and no matter how you may feel,
they were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
and they bear the Master's seal.
No, that trauma you face was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
so that into his likeness you'd grow.
You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are,beloved,
Because there is a God!
Russell Kelfer "The Purpose Driven Life"
Knowing that God made no mistakes in creating me, it's comforting to know that there's a reason why I'd to go through certain experience- There is meaning in going through them. I think I'm still struggling in trying to accept some aspect of myself. I can't accept the fact that I'm always sick with something and that because of my sickness I missed the targets that I've set for myself.
That's my reflection for Day 2
i know that i have loved you ... at 10/22/2009 12:13:00 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The purpose driven life Day 1
Day 1- Thinking about my purpose.
"Everything got started in Him and find its purposes in Him." Colossians 1:16b(Msg)
Well, I guess I know that it's just not about me. Yet there's really a subtle difference in knowing and truly believing that my life just isn't about me. I know that I'm clueless about the direction of my life. I used to believe that I gave my life a purpose- setting a goal that appeals to me and working hard towards it. God has set His eyes upon me before I was born and has plans to prosper me. So yes, life then isn't about me anymore-It's about God.
As for the question to remind myself that life is really about living for God, my answer would be to spend time with Him daily. I think by getting to know God better through dedicating time to him daily would help because I'll get to learn about the character and the promises of God. Everything will fall in place as God has promised.
Short short reflection.. but I'm done.
"Everything got started in Him and find its purposes in Him." Colossians 1:16b(Msg)
Well, I guess I know that it's just not about me. Yet there's really a subtle difference in knowing and truly believing that my life just isn't about me. I know that I'm clueless about the direction of my life. I used to believe that I gave my life a purpose- setting a goal that appeals to me and working hard towards it. God has set His eyes upon me before I was born and has plans to prosper me. So yes, life then isn't about me anymore-It's about God.
As for the question to remind myself that life is really about living for God, my answer would be to spend time with Him daily. I think by getting to know God better through dedicating time to him daily would help because I'll get to learn about the character and the promises of God. Everything will fall in place as God has promised.
Short short reflection.. but I'm done.
i know that i have loved you ... at 10/21/2009 01:37:00 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Parting words of a Temp Teacher
Days rolled over to months and finally I found myself at the end of this particular chapter of my life.
It was just four months ago when I entered the familiar staff room for the first time. My student sat at the table, waiting anxiously for me to arrive. She was unusually quiet and I found it difficult to reach out to her. Quiet can no longer be used to describe her now. You can hear her from the other side of the centre, screaming in English at some classmates who dare to cross her.
I've come into the conclusion that I'll never be a teacher.
I think it takes a lot of effort to keep up with children- They have an amazing level of energy.
No doubt, it's a refreshing change to be facing kids.
There are times when you let your hair down and indulge in the inner child that you've always ignored.
Of course, you learn to be more conscious of the words you speak and the actions you do. I was constantly reminded of this whenever my student display this nasty habit they have learnt from me.I tend to threatened to poke them if they attempt to misbehave themselves.
You can imagine the shock on my face when I heard one of my students saying,
"If you take my pencil again, I'll poke you!"
It's a nice change from "I'll hit you!" but it emphasised the fact that children pick up actions and words from adults fast.
Nevertheless, I continued to threatened them in those moments when I'm exasperated with them.
One thing for sure, I'm sure I will miss their child-like candor- they never fail to speak up what they truly feel. I regretted telling my student that I was happily unattached because they were anxious about offering me tips to find my second half.
"Teacher, you must lose weight so that you're look nice!"
"Teacher, you must go shopping. I can tell the days of the week from the clothes you wear."
"Teacher, you must go out often. Don't go straight home after work."
"Teacher, you're getting older-you've a lot of white hair."
I'll usually retorted by asking them to do their work or by changing the subject.
Each day always bring a fresh set of challenge because kids are very temperamental- No one day at school is the same. It's something that I've grown to enjoy.
Of course, I'll miss the amazing staff.
I'll miss their weird expressions of the students.
"I turn my head 90 degrees to the right.... " ( My comment : You must be great at Maths!)
"The constables waited for the robber to do something wrong before interrogating him"( My comment: We don't live in the 40s, we call them Police nowadays. Besides, the Police interrogates if they find you suspicious.)
We spend countless hour laughing until we teared because of the lack of logic or the strange expressions that they have used.
In all, it has been a wonderful experience for me.
It was just four months ago when I entered the familiar staff room for the first time. My student sat at the table, waiting anxiously for me to arrive. She was unusually quiet and I found it difficult to reach out to her. Quiet can no longer be used to describe her now. You can hear her from the other side of the centre, screaming in English at some classmates who dare to cross her.
I've come into the conclusion that I'll never be a teacher.
I think it takes a lot of effort to keep up with children- They have an amazing level of energy.
No doubt, it's a refreshing change to be facing kids.
There are times when you let your hair down and indulge in the inner child that you've always ignored.
Of course, you learn to be more conscious of the words you speak and the actions you do. I was constantly reminded of this whenever my student display this nasty habit they have learnt from me.I tend to threatened to poke them if they attempt to misbehave themselves.
You can imagine the shock on my face when I heard one of my students saying,
"If you take my pencil again, I'll poke you!"
It's a nice change from "I'll hit you!" but it emphasised the fact that children pick up actions and words from adults fast.
Nevertheless, I continued to threatened them in those moments when I'm exasperated with them.
One thing for sure, I'm sure I will miss their child-like candor- they never fail to speak up what they truly feel. I regretted telling my student that I was happily unattached because they were anxious about offering me tips to find my second half.
"Teacher, you must lose weight so that you're look nice!"
"Teacher, you must go shopping. I can tell the days of the week from the clothes you wear."
"Teacher, you must go out often. Don't go straight home after work."
"Teacher, you're getting older-you've a lot of white hair."
I'll usually retorted by asking them to do their work or by changing the subject.
Each day always bring a fresh set of challenge because kids are very temperamental- No one day at school is the same. It's something that I've grown to enjoy.
Of course, I'll miss the amazing staff.
I'll miss their weird expressions of the students.
"I turn my head 90 degrees to the right.... " ( My comment : You must be great at Maths!)
"The constables waited for the robber to do something wrong before interrogating him"( My comment: We don't live in the 40s, we call them Police nowadays. Besides, the Police interrogates if they find you suspicious.)
We spend countless hour laughing until we teared because of the lack of logic or the strange expressions that they have used.
In all, it has been a wonderful experience for me.
i know that i have loved you ... at 10/18/2009 11:15:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities